Tag Archives: enemies

I Love My Nieces and Nephews But . . .

I don’t like it when they:

  • Try to strangle me.
  • Puke. (especially when you try to hold then closer to show your love) Then puke again. (and on the mouth)
  • Blame me for something. (“She gave me that ridiculous amount of hot chutney that will give me loose motions” *points at me*)
  • Ask questions which can never be answered (“Why don’t you have money?”)
  • Throw flour over me and play “Evade the ghost”.
  • Start crying when I call them.
  • Start smelling and depositing snot all over my newest tube of lipgloss.

But you know, all in all, kids are awesome.

I cannot wait for them to grow up though.

Until then:

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I Have Unnecessary Things to Worry About, So I Share it With You! This is a Big Honour, So Gasp!

I recently reached the ninth standard and the school divides us according to our second language (whether we take Hindi, Assamese, French or Sanskrit). I ended up in J*. Of course, as you can imagine, I got some new classmates–some friends, some enemies.Two of of my friends were besties. Let’s take them as Pea and Tea. I have been observing them from Day I.

And oh the horror! As a significantly quiet girl in school (or so people thinks), I have been wondering at the amount of conversation they have. The thoughts in my head range from confusion to annoyance, intrigue to confusion again.

How can they talk so much? That is impossible.

Maybe I should give up my future Nobel prize to them. (thinking about the ceremony) Pea and Tea gets Nobel Prize for incessantly talking!

That is just awesome. I wish I could get so many topics to talk about.

Oh my gods! How much will they talk! Freaking . . . (then I got distracted and started talking about chocolate cake and it’s heavenly taste)

Anyways, I found out that not only me, but others around me have the same questions. I put all of our sentiments in one line:

“Couples’or logot jenekoi kabab-me-haddi type feeling eta  aahe, xehotor logot goi kotha patibo aarombho korileu ekei feeling eta aahe.” (The feeling of being a bone in a kebab when talking with a couple, is  the same with Pea and Tea.).

I am genius, ya all!

I digress.

Some friends and I were discussing about it today and I finally asked Pea about it in the dispersal assembly. I called it Mission Know What They Talk About**. The conversation went like this:

Pea: Hi Ankita!

Me: Hola. What do you guys talk about? You and Tea?

Pea: (I could tell she was surprised, but I think she got accustomed to the fact that I bring up things out of the blue earlier than other people) Well . . . a lot of things–

Me: (was expecting the answer) So you keep jumping from topic to topic.

Another classmate gets interested. Let’s call her Peas.

Peas: Yeah, what do you talk about? So fast, and all.

Pea: Yeah, we jump from one topic to another., you know. Sometimes, we sing songs . . .

Me: (slightly disappointed) Okay sure. (Peas loses interest. Pea thinks the conversation is over and starts to look somewhere else.)

Me: Hey Pea.

Pea: (turns) Yeah?

Me: This is an advanced warning (she bobbles*** her head, expecting something . . . I don’t know . . . expecting something, I guess). I am going to download spyware and somehow send it to your cell phone. That way I can listen to what you guys talk about.

Pea: I don’t have a cell phone.

Me: (stumped) Well . . . I don’t know how to download spyware. When I do learn, pigs will fly, and you will have a cell phone.

Now that was a quick recovery. Should have seen this genius at work. Damn!

Anyways, my mission failed. I still don’t know what they talk about. Or sing.

*sigh*

*We have ten sections in our class with thirty-six students max. Our school has classes I to XII plus the Play Ground classes. The math is terrifying.

**Ye-e-e-a-a-h. I really suck at naming things. I even consult like . . . twenty people before I make a decision about the name of a new character in my novel.

***Bobbing is neither nodding nor shaking the head. It is somewhere between the two.