Category Archives: Quick Quacks

Quick Quack#11

Lion cubs who have just started noticing their claws are cute. They are at that stage between needing their mother and eating you.

4354tiger1

Oh my gosh, just look at that FACE. *melts into a gooey puddle*

So now you know I’m one of those weirdos who would rather adopt tigers and then train them to kill fellow humans for sport than a small puppy. Wait . . . You didn’t?!

Ah, well.

Bookworm Problem#13

Parents of (relatively) normal teenagers: “Why don’t you get your head out of that ipad/iphone/smartphone/other-gadgets-that-I-don’t-know-the-names-of to go outside and socialise or maybe read more maybe read books like that quiet friend you have (me)?”

The death glare over the top of the phone. "Moooooom, I am socialising."
The death glare over the top of the phone.
Moooooom, I am socialising.”

My parents: “No. This is for food and school fees. You cannot live off of printed pages of books alone. And no, smelling them does not count as sustenance.”

"Now who said I can't live off books." "No dear, I meant, as a human."
“Now who said I can’t live off books?”
“No dear, I meant as a human.”

Bookworm Problem#21

When I let someone borrow my book:

“Listen to me clearly. I will only repeat this once. If you dog ear the pages or drop food items  or open my baby more than the necessary forty five degrees, I will string you up and stab you until you die from blood loss and excruciating pain while I laugh maniacally in the background. Do you understand?”

Suffice to say, people have stopped borrowing stuff from me.

And yes, I would be smoking hot while doing it too.
And yes, I would be smoking hot while doing it too.

Bookworm Problem #30

We ask people to read a book because it’s ‘good’, but in reality, what we actually want to say is, ‘Read this godamned book so I can discuss it with some human other than the ones who have already heard me fangirling giggling over crying over talking about it a thousand times a day, so that after I get you hooked on to the fandom we can fangirl giggle over cry over talk about this book a million times a day.’

Blame Google
Blame Google