Parents of (relatively) normal teenagers: “Why don’t you get your head out of that ipad/iphone/smartphone/other-gadgets-that-I-don’t-know-the-names-of to go outside and socialise or maybe read more maybe read books like that quiet friend you have (me)?”

“Moooooom, I am socialising.”
My parents: “No. This is for food and school fees. You cannot live off of printed pages of books alone. And no, smelling them does not count as sustenance.”

“No dear, I meant as a human.”