When I let someone borrow my book:
“Listen to me clearly. I will only repeat this once. If you dog ear the pages or drop food items or open my baby more than the necessary forty five degrees, I will string you up and stab you until you die from blood loss and excruciating pain while I laugh maniacally in the background. Do you understand?”
Suffice to say, people have stopped borrowing stuff from me.

HAHAHAHA this is freakin’ hilarious! (does this make me look sadistic?) damn i think i need to revise my note! this are words of a genius ;D
Sadistic? No. Protective motherly instincts approving would be my guess.
Ah, you recognised the talent, then.
*these