Don’t Even Ask How I Thought About This

So I haven’t had time to write anything for a few months now, so just to keep me from being depressed that my blog is dead and finally jumping  into the depths of the abyss after searching for it long and hard update my blog, here’s a draft of a story I wrote a while back:

The wound in her stomach bled more as she tried to speak but was choking with the blood pouring out of her mouth. Her life seeped into the ground, soaking her clothes and his.

They arrived to find him holding her limp, lifeless body in his arms. His tears fell on her face, so that it seemed like she was crying too.

He wouldn’t let go of her. They had to pry him of her, to stop him from kissing her bloodied lips; and then to stop him from screaming his heart out. Her body was carried far away from that place–her place of murder. But the earth and the trees still maintained her last image; the winds still carried his agonised screams of despair.

That’s pretty much it. I don’t think I can edit it anymore. Suggestions for improving this is appreciated.

Also, you have any story after this that popped into your mind?

People believe I love books. There's a criteria. They have to be interesting. For e.g. I'll steer clear of this shelf.
People believe I love books. There’s a criteria. They have to be interesting. For e.g. I’ll steer clear of this shelf.
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4 thoughts on “Don’t Even Ask How I Thought About This

  1. There’s a few spelling mistakes/plot corrections to be made to it but it’s a really good opener for a novel! It made me think of a television film I watched a while ago, called, ‘Murder in Greenwich’ – check it out, it may give you some ideas (link is at the bottom). My gut tells me it’s probably going to develop into a thriller/murder mystery (yes, because there’s blood) or could go into a war movie type story. Up to you! Best of luck on this should you choose to pursue it 🙂

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_in_Greenwich_(film)

      1. I think you’ve already corrected them. It was just a little confusion of ‘him’ rather than using ‘her’ so it made you plot seem as though he was holding himself at one point. Will you be writing more to this opening? 🙂

        1. Yeah. I saw that right after I had uploaded it, but I was being just plain lazy. I HAVE written more to the opening, but whatever I was going to write doesn’t make sense now. I feel it’s repetitive.

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