Monthly Archives: October 2012

Popular Indian Festival–Durga Puja

Stilled Victory

Cymbals sound, singing is in the air;
The earth shakes along with the victorious moments.
She holds crowds mesmerised by her terrible beauty,
Who hardly notices the pitiful demon dying at her feet.
A victor, a saviour–a death depicted
In still frame–a scene that manages to startle year after year.
Adorned in red and golden–with a bowl full of blood;
Surrounded by her children, she kills,
The demon of the evil heart, with the wrath of a dutiful goddess.

A Puja Pandal
Puja Pandal#2
A pandal in our city. I was delighted when I found it on the web. It was way more beautiful up close.

So this post was supposed to come up earlier and Durga Puja‘s already done and over with, but with all the interruptions from my sister and my father, this took a lot of time.

A small fact: Pandals are temporary shelters for the idols of Durga killing Mahishasur (the evil demon mentioned in the poem), her children (Saraswati, goddess of the goddess of knowledge, music, arts and science, Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth, prosperity (both material and spiritual), fortune, and the embodiment of beauty, Ganesh and Kartikeya, her two sons) along with their animal ‘vehicles’ and her husband, Shiva. The preparations are started almost a month before Durga puja, and the pandals are demolished as soon as the last day of Puja, that is, Dashami (a.ka. Vijaya dashami, translated as ‘victorious tenth day’ of killing Mahishasur). Pretty neat, huh?

“Celebrating Womanhood”
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The Power of the ‘Like’ Button

Facebook–maybe the way to end the world the Mayans imagined.

Beware husbands of the world!

Too much of cigerattes can kill you.

On the other hand, facebook may just crush your heart like a tin can under a foot, destroy your career making you bankrupt and may help you wallow in self misery and become an outcast.

The guy in my head: Pfft.

Okay, I wanted that to be scary. *scratches head*

Anyways, more on the facebook thingy . . .

A Silchar High Court has granted divorce to a woman who was often being forced by  her husband to like every Facebook update posted by him.

The guy in my head: Pfft.

‘Would you stop that!’

The guy in my head: No. I am  quite enjoying your attempts at  . . . Hey, what are you–

*censored*

‘Okay. Thank you.’

Starting again:

A Silchar High Court Judge has granted divorce to a woman who was often being forced by her husband to like every Facebook update posted by him.

Both sides traded accusations and allegations in a session that began at 9 am and ended at 5 pm.

The husband claimed that his wife was having affairs with multiple men. The accusation was based on the fact that she used to press the ‘Like’ button generously for updates posted by them, but not him.

It all seems very normal till now, doesn’t it?

You gotta like the ‘Like’ button. It causes divorces wonderfully!

The wife countered with the argument that her husband would force her to like his updates–which, by the way, she found silly. This included a morphed picture of Mamata Banerjee dressed up as Wonder Woman.

Now that’s not silly at all.

‘She has the style, she has the flare.’ Why–then–can’t she be Wonder Woman?
Mamata Banerjee can fly a cape better than her. *decisive snort*

But of course, the judge, being insanely sane, was aghast when he heard this.

“How can a sane person do this? You are imagining a blunder woman as Wonder Woman? This is travesty of sanity and represents utter lack of sensitivity. I mean Wonder Woman was my idol when I was growing up and I used to imagine her saving me from the evil and tyrannical Bogey Man. Wonder Woman is a superlady while Mamata Banerjee is barely human; let alone super human,” he observed.

He later went on to say that the ‘Like’ button “is a power that comes with responsibility and we must use this power with discretion and should not misuse this power, use it for nefarious purposes or force someone to use it against her will” instructing the government to come up with comprehensive guidelines on use of ‘Like’ button.

As a final departing line on the subject, the Judge said, “It is this court’s opinion that people need to be educated on the use of the Like button”.

While granting divorce, the judge asked both sides to introspect and move on with their lives. The judge also ordered the man to remove the morphed picture of Mamata as Wonder Woman from his Facebook profile.

 

NOTE: This may contain information whose authenticity is somewhat lacking. The author would be much gratified if any harmful comments or detected sarcastic remarks do not become a cause for a lawsuit.

Thank you.

The Pakora Chronicles

*Friend goes to a small roadside shop to buy pakoras.*

*Small roadside shop sells awesome pakoras. His mouth started to water at the thought of awesome pakoras.*

Friend: Rs 10 of pakoras, please.

Awesome pakora maker: Wait some minutes. The last batch just got sold out.

*Friend waits some distance away. Whets his appetite with thought of eating the awesome pakoras.*

Different types of this delicacy: Veg pakoras, Chicken pakoras, Fish pakoras, Bread pakoras et cetera. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Pakoras in Jaipur (atleast, wikipedia claimed so)
Pakora stand in Pushkar, Rajasthan (Photo credit: Bandarji. ‘Bandar’ means monkey. ‘Ji’ is a form of respect.)

 

*Friend finally can’t wait anymore. Turns to see if awesome pakoras are made yet.*

*Sees heaven. Awesome pakoras made. Cue halo and organs.*

And then,

Line of sight: Two men are staring at the freshly-made batch of awesome pakoras.

One of the men: All of them please.

Friend: *in slow motion* Nooooooooooooooooo.

*Awesome pakora maker lifts up the whole batch, wraps the pakoras and sells them to the two men.*

*Friend paralysed.*

 

 

 

The Forgotten Encounter

NOTE: Introduction of one of my characters from my yet unpublished book.
EDIT: I do not know what I was doing with this.

It was a lovely morning. With the heat and the humid weather, everything stuck to everything else. The sun came out quickly and brightly.

And I was dying.

No, not literally.

You could say I was figuratively dying. And oh yes. It was a sarcastically lovely morning.

And so, when I was figuratively dying, the Wind decided to have mercy and relieve us humans of the constricting humidity.

I was delighted and was quick to get out of my house and enjoy the weather.

We lived in a flat so, as you can imagine, the compound wasn’t very big. I mean the individual compound for each of the three buildings in our colony, you could say. I could venture out farther front, but I felt exposed. It put me in the gaze of any residents who happened to be looking out the window hoping someone would come by and trip and fall just to entertain them.

Since I had poor hand-eye coordination, I did not wish to be that person.

On the side of my building was a wall, lined with deodar trees. I  headed towards them.

That’s when I saw him. He had his eyes closed and his head tilted towards the sky. He was partly hidden by the row of trees. I never would have noticed him had I not seen his shadow sticking out of  . . . well . . . the shadows.

I squinted at him. And then–as if he sensed my presence–he slightly inclined his face towards me and frowned, looking annoyed and extremely pissed.

He looked like he wanted to mutiny.

I tucked tail and ran.

I had never seen him before in this locality and I wondered who he was. On round of my building and I reached the deodar trees again. This time, he was looking at me. We appraised each other for a long time.

I went towards him, slightly uncomfortable, but not really sure why I was walking towards him.

He looked hostile. And wary. But at the same time, he seemed to be considering; considering whether it was worth talking to me.

As I had that thought, I snapped out of it. He was about ten inches shorter than me and he seemed to be considering if I was worth talking to? Okay, maybe not that short, but still.

“New tenant?” I asked him.

A slow smile lit up his face. I was like a miniature sun, right there in the middle of all the shadows.

“Hi,” he said. “Fai. I’m Fai.”

I cocked my head at the unusual name. Japanese. Or I think it was Chinese.
I shook my head and introduced myself to Fai.

He motioned–smiling–towards deeper shade. I obliged. I didn’t even occur to me that he hadn’t answered my question. I just naturally took him as the son of a  new tenant or something.

After talking for a while, I started to like him. He seemed nice enough. And quite companionable. But why were my instinct telling run?

I blinked. Insane. You are completely insane, I thought to myself. I could see Fai grinning.

He asked about my family. I asked about his. Of course, the talk eventually turned to our sisters.

“A younger sister!” I said. “Oh that is so–”

“Please.” Fai snorted. “She’s annoying–”

“Younger sisters are born to be annoying,” I said, condescendingly. “I should know. I am an younger sister.”

“Then why . . . ” he paused. Tilted his head. “The cherry blossoms are pretty aren’t they?”

Whaaat? I thought my insanity has affected him too.

Then I looked up. Instead of the deodars, there was a row of cherry blossoms.

I was surprised only later.

“Yeah,” I said, slightly dazed. “Yeah, they are.”

“Fai,” a voice called out. We looked over our shoulders. A beautiful girl was standing behind us. A leaf flitted across her face and settled snugly on her shoulder.

“Come on!” she said, her voice urgent. “We need to go NOW!”

Fai turned towards me, smiling, and said that he hoped to meet me again.  I smiled back. I said I hoped to meet him too. He jogged towards the girl. I looked up at the deodars.

Deodars?

Started, I looked towards the path which Fai took when he left. No one was there.

I stood alone in the dark for a long time.

Sometimes, I wonder what it was all about. Was he just a figment of my imagination. Did I call myself insane so much, I really became insane? Sometimes, I wondered if I am really so bad at handling the iron, or I burn myself thinking about him?

I really couldn’t find any answers.

I thought about him for a long time: five days. And then I forgot everything about that small encounter up until now. Because my memory is that good.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Short Circuiting

Our midterms just went by. After a gruelling month of studying nights and giving the exams with no confidence whatsoever, we were looking forward to the English test on the last day.

Unfortunately, it was an easy paper.

And that meant heavy checking.

It was all pretty deprssing. There was no halo of anywhere. The dark tunnel never seemed to end, and our brains got short-circuited, and us students have now a desire to study more.

Maybe it was normal for a few days. But then disaster stroke. We felt like studying.

Situation:

Jiya: Hmm. Ooo, a new CD came out. Let’s try googling it

After five minutes:
Maybe later I can start with a chapter of science. The mole concept will be coming next, I guess. I should read it beforehand so that Gimi ma’am does not kill us all. Someone has to remain standing in class . . .

Of course, the feeling never changed to actually reading the chapters.

But it is still pretty annoying. I am writing this post thinking and hoping Gimi ma’am does not kill us.

Of course, the major effect of the endless studying is shown in our texts. Since, me and most of my friends are freaks for texting, this is a major disaster.

Text Conversations During Exams:

Yui: U know he sd I’m crazy. Do u thnk I’m crazy? Hw mch hv u finished studying?

May: Yes, u r definitely crazy xD 1 ch is left.

Yui: I hate you! (hate messages are best given in full forms. u.u) I am not crazy! 1 ch?! Nice!

May: Bt u ARE! (Eh? Seriously? xD) tnk. ok, night then.

Yui: Jeez ToT (Seriously. Try caps n bold too) Night???? It’s 12 p.m. Whaaat?

May: jus takin a small nap.

Yui: k. bye.

May: bye.

Angie: Hola. This is crazy, you know?

Yui: Even u! I’m nt crazy!

Angie: Whoa! Relax! I didn’t say YOU are crazy. One nighters are crazy, not you!

Yui: Sorry. It had the word ‘you’ in that sentence, so . . . -_-” Gettin a little paranoid dese days.

Angie: I can relate. Anyways, what’s the answer of  the question number four of the bio sample paper Ajay sir gave?

Angie: Oi!

Angie: Hellooooo??? You there?

Angie: You died? 😮 😮 😮

Angie: Okay then. I’ll prepare the funeral after the exams.

Yui: Sorry. Ws chatting wid May.

Angie: She stopped replying?

Yui: Yeah.

Angie: I think she died.

Yui: 😮

There was a long string of texts like these after this which mainly involed May saying ‘yes’ to everything, which ended up in her becoming a zombie and plans by Angie and Yui of killing May, to which May agreed.

But I won’t bore you with them. And also, my patience is running out with a person I am currently exchangings texts with. My text brain has returned. Hers has not. And I am going mad trying to keep up with her.

Actually a great way to make things interesting.